On The Dangers Of Stereotyping
by laurelsblue
Summary: Vaguely crack. Hanabi has her epic romance all planned out. All she has to do is convince Konohamaru. 20 Truths about Hanabi and Konohamaru.


On The Dangers Of Stereotyping

1. She is ten when she decides that Konohamaru will be her future husband. The next eight years are spent getting him to accept this.

2. Her choice was in no way influenced by seeing him perform the Double Knock-out Guys jutsu. Really. (He can stop sniggering now.)

3. During their training trip, her father talks to her about the future of the clan. He doesn't say that her sister will be declared the heir formally soon but she decides it is implied all the same.

4. She returns to Konoha to find it in ruins but him stronger than ever.

5. The first time Konohamaru looks into his future wife's eyes, it's the Chunin Exams. He's flat on his back as she stares down at him, Byakugan still activated. She looks disappointed as she backs away.

6. When he wins the match, she smiles. Her husband cannot be weaker than her after all.

7. Her teenage years are spent shoring up her sister's position so that when Hinata eventually becomes head, the whole clan will support her. His are used to help Naruto with his dream.

8. Konohamaru doesn't become aware of her plans until he's a fourteen year-old chuunin. He thinks it's kinda cute that she has a crush on him but isn't really interested.

9. The first time he turns her request for a date down, she isn't discouraged. He'll come round eventually, she consoles herself, even if she has to tie him up and drag him there. By the fifteenth time, she concludes that she might need a back-up plan though.

10. When he sees her in a huddle with two familiar other girls, he knows two things: a) it's not just a crush, and b) he's doomed.

11. She learns his training schedule from Moegi and for the following two months, turns up to his usual training ground always a bit before him. He promptly spends the next two weeks ignoring his traitorous teammate.

12. At fifteen and a half, he concedes defeat and asks her out.

13. They break up when he's sixteen over something trivial and he goes into hiding. It's not her that he fears though. Her best friend, Matsuri, is even scarier than Sakura when mad and far more subtle in getting revenge. The next month is spent carefully checking everything for any sign of being poisoned. (Matsuri wasn't Shizune's apprentice for nothing.)

14. She won't let five years of planning go to waste though and they're back together a month later.

15. After her sixteenth birthday, she begins to research out-of-clan marriages for main family members. Her findings give her sister hope but seem to dash her own plans. She has always gotten her own way though and she refuses to let this be any different.

16. Konohamaru knows far more about the internal politics of the Hyuuga clan than most people realise. Dating the heir's sister tends to result in that. So when Naruto wants to propose to Hinata, he comes to him for advice first.

17. Despite how well he understands her, he's still vaguely surprised by Hanabi's approval of Naruto's relationship with Hinata. She tries to explain it in terms of ranks and suitable husbands but he knows the truth. (He'll end up tied to a tree covered with itching powder if he tells anyone though.)

18. The first time he realises he might love her, he's nineteen and watching her dancing on top of a table in the jounin lounge, completely hammered. The party to celebrate Naruto becoming Hokage is winding down around them as gravity takes its toll on her and he moves to stop her hitting the floor. She grins up at him drunkenly and slurs a declaration of love. He smiles back and tells her that he loves her as well.

19. Hanabi doesn't remember any of this in the morning but that's OK. He got Ino to give him copies of the tapes. Her performance of _I Don't Like Your Girlfriend_ was particularly good, everyone agrees, even if it was directed at Tenten for some reason. (Neji's extra vicious in their sparring sessions for a week afterwards and she never manages to work out why.)

20. Naruto marries them. It's not quite the big wedding Konohamaru had expected but he's learnt over the years that Hanabi's idea of an epic romance is very different from most people's. He supposes that he likes that in her.  
Hanabi always knew that she'd get here one day but it was nice that he'd decided to come of his own free will as well.

* * *

This was heavily inspired by a series by Mistress of Sarcasm so check those out as well.


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